Someone with knowledge on wicca, pagan, and christian beliefs.? please help me.?

I have never believed in jesus or the bible. even as a little girl. ive always believd in the course of mother nature. we all die so that others may rise. ive always thought that the bible exsisted so people could have hope for something better. basically so that we coud sleep easier at night. i dont its bad to have sex or smoke or use vulgar language. i dont really believe anything is wrong. other than lying/cheating/stealing. those are my only real lines. i go to church on occacion but i just cant bring myself to accept anything the preachers say. it doesnt add up. it seeems that the bible looks down upon woman. I do believe that things happen that can be explained were there an explanation on magic. is there somebody out there that is willing to talk with me via email that could help me figure out what kind of religion i could possibly agree on. because i think everyone needs something to believe in. i understand that i sound like a madwoman. but i assure you im mostly sane. Im feeling quite lost indeed. like alice in wonderland.(::